![double jump crysis 2 pc double jump crysis 2 pc](https://www.dualshockers.com/static/uploads/2011/04/Crysis-2-Supressed-Weapon.jpg)
kit to school.īut you know how it is with tentpole Nintendo franchises they're a slave to routine: Mario fights Bowser, Link fights Ganondorf, Samus Aran fights her own urge to self-harm every time she finds another secret pickup she needs the fucking power bomb to get.
![double jump crysis 2 pc double jump crysis 2 pc](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/AqLiZeGaMzA/maxresdefault.jpg)
Anyway, Samus Aran goes off to explore a mysterious, labyrinthine planet - partly because of something to do with The X, and partly because that's all she ever fucking does - and predictably enough, something kicks the shit out of her and nicks all her power-ups, so she has to start the long journey of gathering them all back up, stripped down to her underpants like she forgot to bring her P.E. The main threat is The X, the shapeshifting parasites that Metroid Fusion introduced, and which are slightly hard to take seriously because they're little, colored blobs that look like they'd be cast as the baddies in an animated toothpaste advert.
![double jump crysis 2 pc double jump crysis 2 pc](https://c1.neweggimages.com/ProductImage/74-105-657-10.jpg)
"Look, we don't want to hear any more about what kind of advances you've been making on gay boys, Yahtz, least of all annal-related ones." BAH! How could you nipple-chafers understand the significance of a new Metroid game that actually adds to the canon and isn't a prequel, or a remake, or an interquel, or something best cauterized out of memory like Metroid: Other M?īut since it is building on the plot developments in Metroid Fusion, you might be confused by a few things if you aren't up to speed most significantly, the fact that you don't fight any Metroids in Metroid Dread. "GBA? What's that stand for? 'Granddad's Babbling Again'?" No, you little bastards! Game Boy Advance, a significant handheld in the annals of gaming. It's also a direct sequel to Metroid Fusion on the GBA, but you kids of today probably won't appreciate that much. Metroid Dread is, sadly, not a game about space bounty hunter Samus Aran ill-advisedly putting out a vanity reggae album, but a new Metroid game on the Switch that leans a little bit more into the space horror theme that lurks at the bottom of a lot of Metroid games like all the tasty, cheesy bits in an ineptly-tossed salad. This week on Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Metroid Dread.